I Feel LIke I'm Slowly Drifting Away

The week has been a bit surreal. I feel like I'm here but not here. I think the boss is trying to wean their dependence on me so to speak, by just having me do the "menial" tasks that have to get done and supervising. I'm ok with that, I think. When calls are piling up, I could be helping but instead I just busy myself with the busy work. Not to mention there's another hurricane that will possibly hit Texas and if it hits the Houston area and is bad, this will be a good bad thing for work. Busy + Extremely= Money - Less Experienced Worker = Needing All The Help They Can Get.

I know you guys are completely exhausted from my non stop tirades about work. I totally understand. This is something that is a bit life changing for me at the moment and well, it's the main thing on my mind other than finding a house, packing, moving and possibly homeschooling. Not that I have much on my plate or anything.
I'm really just ready to get the work thing over and done with and the week is droning on to never ending.
The most important thing of the week was ordering the food for my end of work luncheon. Priorities. Supervisor girl and I make it one of our most important tasks of the day by planning the days lunch. This usually starts about 10-1030. She is distraught that she won't have her lunch partner to help her decide what the plan for lunch is anymore. Sniff I'll miss it too.

A Few Random Work Happenings

I will try very hard not to make this post yet another whining post about work. (crosses fingers behind back) Hey this is the last week you'll ever hear me speak of actual 9-5 real job work for a very very long time. I might as well get it all out of my system.

I came this close to calling in this morning. What would they do fire me? I really should have just not come in.
When I first came in everyone was in an uproar because the e-mail was completely down. This makes our job a tad difficult, but we were going to make do.

Last week I was all "Oh all is swell with the newbies, things are just hunkie dorie, their picking up so fast." I don't know what happened but I feel like we're starting all over again. It's like I told my supervisor. It's one thing to ask me a hundred different questions, it's another thing to ask me the same question a hundred times. Needless to say I'm chewing my right arm again. 32 plus hours to go and counting.

I came back from lunch and not only was the e-mail down but the entire network was at a stand still. One can make do with out e-mail to a degree..one cannot make do when nothing works to do your job. When it's storm time, it's not a good thing at all. We literally sat around for a good two hours. A little bit before 5 supervisor and I decided it's time to go home our work here is done.

My boss is in shambles about me leaving. He's made so many jokey counter offers to make me stay. Like "You and C's marriage would be so much stronger if he just came home on weekends." or "You could commute from Big D everyday" Today he offered to split me on the recycled cans fund. He drives quite a hard bargain.

The boss did tell me that I would get to pick what the office would bring in on lunch on Friday. So I hope everyone likes Mexican cause that's what supervisor and I decided. We're hoping for a vat of queso. I told her if they couldn't do a vat for all 50 plus of us then the bossman is just going to have to get us our own special stash.
I really do feel appreciated that he's throwing out the red carpet for me on my last week. He's even eased up on my work load so to speak. In other words instead of taking calls, I'm just supervising. Though at times I'd almost rather just do the calls myself, as it would be so much easier.

I'm so ready to get started on the new chapter of our lives, not to mention these storm hours are killing me.

Disconnected

I feel completely disconnected.

Normally during my work day I'm at my desk table connected to the rest of the world for 8 plus hours a day, while still technically working. This week I'm there but not there. I no longer remain seated at my table for more than 5 minutes.
We're in storm mode and that means I must keep a constant and steady watch supervising babysitting the newbies. Our temporary office is maxed to capacity with a sea of temps to come to our aide. Good for business..not so good for sanity and brain function. Though I admit I'm actually holding my own and have not overstressed out..yet. I think 99% of it has to do with that little voice in the back of my head saying "only 48 plus hours to go, we're in the homestretch."

By Friday the 12th I will have worked a total of 145 hours since Aug 31st..give or take a few. Not that I'm counting or anything. To say we're busy right now, is a bit of an understatement. This means that my time for blogging/reading blogs has dropped from 8 hours a day (not all day mind you..but it is right there at my finger tips for those 8 plus hours a day) to an hour or two a day.
The sad part is I'm tired and the blog reading has been reduced to skimming instead of actually reading. I can't sit and thoroughly read PDub's dissertation on the names of her horses or how every mom blogger out there is posting about their girl crush on VP hopeful Palin (not that I have anything against Palin..I like her I really do). My brain is mush and "light" reading is all I can handle right now. I do make it a point to read my blog buddies and what's happening with them. Cause ya'll are my homies and I care about you.

My house is a total bachelor pad looking wreck. At this moment, I really don't care. I have some mis-guided, fantasized hope that once I'm home, I'll have all the time in the world for trivial things like cleaning.

Bare with me as I try to keep connected. I'm out here somewhere, floating along, just trying to get through the rest of next week.

Storms A Comin

Please again forgive me, as I must defrag my brain by posting about this crazy move at work. This may be ranty and lengthy.

I may have mentioned that a whole heck of a lot has been going on this week. The office move was one of them. It's been pure hellzaba.
Let me first start off with the phone system as that is the giant issue were having right now. Without going into great detail, here is one of the many basic issues- Our phone system consists of 2 (actually more but for simple purposes I'm using 2) queues. One for Tech Support and the other for Customer Service. We aren't able to transfer calls from one queue to the other. This makes for a real pain in the you know what.

What happens now is we send over an e-mail to the other department to call or some people sneak over a transfer directly to an extension. The transfer people are going to have their eye balls gauged out by Friday. The problem is, there is no sort of order or "line" of who should be called first. This also means that some people are not doing their share by calling people back.

I must discuss the main transfer offender. This person is the receptionist. She has been transferring every single call for CS to me. I AM NOT THE ONLY CSR IN THE DEPARTMENT. She transfers them even when I am already on a phone call. My phone rings in my ear while I'm talking to someone. This makes friendly customer service rep very cranky. I know it's her because A: I can see who transferred it on the phone and B. She blatantly admitted it to my supervisor and said "Oh she looked like she wasn't doing anything." I think she has some vendetta on me and possibly wants me to up and quit my job earlier than intended..or not. I sit literally 10 feet away from her and she sits in her crows nest just watching me, waiting for me to slack off for one half second.
My supervisor did finally tell her to lay off the transfers and that she should e-mail the requests like everyone else. Did she comply? Sorta. Now she takes their name and number and instead of e-mailing it to the department, she sends it straight to me. So I give up.

On top of all of this, a Storm Is A Comin. Whatever storm What's It's name is that's down in Cuba (can you tell my care and concern factor is on the empty side) and coming toward the Gulf is causing EVERYBODY TO PANIC. This is because they believe that the phones will asplode with calls and WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE. Not really but that's the atmosphere around here. This all also means that there's a slight possibility that I may have to work Labor Day. This makes me really cranky.
When the phones asplode it also means storm time, storm hours, and blah blah blah. My planned last day is the 12th. I must hold on until the 12th. I must also hold strong and not cave in to the bossmans begging and pleading with me to stay a little bit longer. Not gonna do it. No more work past the 12th.

This Post Brought To You By The Letter W for Work Whine

Oh sweet Internet, please allow me to defrag my brain a bit. Thank you for your cooperation.

-First off; work has been a b*. You know that teeny tiny puff of a hurricane Dory, Betsy or whatever it was?..well when the first slight puff of a storm happens; all the storm troopers come out in full force. Since my job assists those storm troopers to help you, the little insured fix the hail damage on your house from that tiny puff of wind and rain, we get just a tad busy.

-I haven't slept well in days! Sleep is a requirement for full-time moms who have to babysit train new people at work. I have to be perky and patient and I have ZERO patience left today after this week. Poor newbie, it took all I had not to chew my right hand off. I don't need it much anyway since I'm left handed.

-I pretty much have let those co-workers whom I actually care about, know of our news. They are pretty much in shock. Hubs and I are one of the old timers of this company so yeah shock was a bit of an understatement. Is it bad when your boss literally tells you he hates you? He was joking of course..I think.
I'm trying to reassure them that I won't jump ship just yet.

-All this busyness has left me absolutely no time to read blogs...what's up with this pay me to actually work buisness?

-I have to work Sunday and I'm not thrilled about it.

Yes friends this is my woe is me whining random post edition. Thanks for stopping by.

It's A Happy Day...and it's not even my birthday

whispering so I don't jinx it.

I have to admit that the last few weeks have been nothing but sunshine and roses. The job has melted the stress away to an extent. My co workers rock and just have a level of enthusiasm and motivation that I haven't had in a long time. We all support each other and keep one another entertained.
Today almost felt like my birthday with out cake and presents, but it was just as good. I got a few sells in with out even having to work for it. Which is an awesome aspect of this job. The sells pretty much come to you. Then my mother bless her, sent my anniversary goody basket filled with cookies, chips, soda, and all kinds of stuff. She thinks it's better than getting flowers, since it is hubs anniversary too.
I snacked on some cheese and crackers for lunch and came back and one of the co-workers mother had brought in a slew of home cooked food. Smothered chicken, green beans, homemade rolls, fried potatoes, and best of all some killer brownies. I thought I had gone to carbohydrate heaven. As if that wasn't enough my buddy from the other department brought me Starbucks just cause. They had teased me before their supervisor meeting that they were going to Starbucks for the meeting.
We challenged the new transfer co-worker to sing Opera. He used to sing for the Dallas Opera. That was part of his initiation into the department. They made me dance. Then my supervisor did the splits in a skirt right there in front of all of us.
The next interesting thing that happened is that the other department is in such dire need to test the new software that the big bosses have asked my boss if he could let them borrow me for testing. This is something that is not handled in my department at all. I told the boss man I'd do whatever he wanted me to do. I don't think he's overly thrilled with this idea.
It just feels so darn good to be loved, appreciated, and needed, and not just a warm body answering the phone all day.

So I'm Just Hangin Out Here At Work

Because every Sunday morning should involve getting up early and going to work.
Since I'm the new kid on the job, I get to work the weekends at least for a short time. I won't complain, but I'm a bit grumpy that I have to work all day next Sunday(mother's day).
Anyways there's a point to this post..not really but I'm pretending there is.
We're a funny bunch here at the office. Maybe not as well scripted as "THE OFFICE", but we're still funny.
T(former supervisor dude) dubbed a nickname for me of Poison for my rapping gangster ways. Well it was mainly due from me telling him the story of my very first concert which was Bel Biv Devoe. T found this hilarious and therefor named me Poison from the song.
Another co-worker of mine wanted to know the story behind the nickname and it's one of those things where you have to be there to fully appreciate it and not to mention just rehashing a story that he would probably not find as humorous as T. He then decided that he also wanted to give me a nickname. Somehow Jelly was mentioned. I have no idea really. I couldn't try to explain if I tried. It involved singing. So he dubbed me Jelly.
Since I'm loyal, I couldn't just give up the name Poison and be renamed Jelly. I couldn't really do the whole Prince thing and call myself the blogger/co-worker formerly named Poison now named Jelly. Just doesn't have the same ring to it.
So I sent a message to T(I'll have to think of a crazy nick name for him) telling him just call me PJ.
His curiosity got the best of him and he demanded to know. Since I didn't explain to the other co-worker what Poison stood for, I felt it only fair that T didn't know what J stood for. I told him something comical and witty and now I cant think of what I said. Sheesh. The name stuck and for a few months now anytime T addresses me it's; Hey wassup PJ, you busy, cause I got a special project for you? How's my homegirl doin..or something like that. Were tight like that.
All of this to say T now you know the rest of the story.
Good Day.

Aren't you glad you came to visit today?

My Day Was Good, How Was Yours?

I just wanted to say thank you guys for your best wishes on my new day. All went well. Not to much expected of you on the first day. I'm sure that will change very quickly.
It really helps when you know your new co-workers and that their very understanding and patient with me when asking a gazillion questions. I of course have been in their shoes countless times dealing with the newbie. It's been a long time since the tables have turned and I'm the newbie. I think I'll get in the groove once I get used to the routine and how things are done.
My "bosses" came and checked in on me. Which was nice and funny at the same time. I'm sure it's a total rarity for the old bossman to poke his head in on that side of the building.
My stress level was minimal and even though I did get a call at the last minute, I wasn't to upset as I knew what to expect, and knew it would only take a couple of minutes. You wouldn't get that guarantee at the old job.

When I was picking up Bossy at daycare I felt strange like I was having some kind of out of body experience. Almost as if I was a totally different person. I'm not sure if this was a good thing, some life altering experience thing or what the deal was but it was interesting.

Mission Done

Today the Captain led her troops into battle for the last time.

She led with a full heart and always willing to fight the good fight side by side with her compadres. She understood each soldiers pain and joy as she had been there before many times.



Her troops were and still are her family. She would fight for them any day as they would for her.

The troops had a respect and maybe some kind of admiration for her. They knew they could come to her seeking knowledge and support they didn't feel to have or if the generals were to busy fighting other wars. No battle was to big or to small for her and everyday a new war was fought. They knew she would give them all her undivided attention, even if bullets were coming at her from all ends. Somehow a victory would be won a problem solved. Yet there were sometimes when no war big or small would be saved. The troops would all go down together only to rise again in victory with another war and perhaps face the reality of the next defeat.

She's fought alongside many a great captain and general. She knows the other captains would fight just as hard for her as she herself would for her troops.

Today fanfare and accolades came her way out of respect and admiration for time served. There may not have been a tinker tape parade or medals pinned to lapel, but the appreciation of service and duty was good enough. She'll leave with the knowledge that her mission there is done. A new captain will be chosen.

The captain now removes her shiny captain's hat from her head and re places it with a tight fitting dusty Private's cap instead. She's headed off to report for duty to a new general and a new captain. She'll gear up for a new platoon and be ready for a battle she's never fought before. She's ready.

The Grass May or May Not Be Greener

The grass may or may not be greener but I'm sure gonna climb over the fence and take a look.
Well I've made my decision and it looks like I will be starting my new adventure on Monday. I'm really excited and anxious and nervous and all those things that new adventures bring. I expect new challenges and adventures and I'm ready for it.

There will be a few things to get used to like working more on weekends, but I would be only working one day and that would be half the day unless otherwise needed. I'll be doing this for a good 3 weeks straight. I think I can handle it. Another good that came out of my debate to stay or go was they said I'd get to stay at the same pay. Woot!

I have to say that I'm feeling the extra stress that goes along with what I'm doing now slowly melting away. I just hope new stresses don't come about with the new position (at least it will be a different stress).
The bossman was supportive and understanding. He even stated that he's instilled his methods of leadership in order for us to move on to bigger and better adventures. So no more guilt there. I know some good workers that will easily move up in rank. So no guilt knowing that I'm leaving him high dry.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement and support during my indecisiveness! I look forward to sharing with you my new adventure.

Conundrum

I finally need to get this monkey off my back, as it's been riding on me for a while now and he's getting heavy.





I have been working at my job for 6 years now. I've been through some really rough times of bad software updates and enduring long hours during storm season. I work and have worked with a wide variety of great and not so great people. The work people are my family, as I have no other family here in TX. Through those rough times our little family has grown to a degree somewhat tight knit.


A lot of changes are taking place in our little family. Our department and another are converging to be one support team. This means we are in the process of learning new software and adding to our client support (which means more stress).


I've been offered a position in another department for customer service. Part of me wants to jump right on it. It's not saying that things would be less stressful in the other department, it would be a different kind of stress. It's also not saying that I'd get paid more, as I wouldn't be. This would also mean a demotion so to speak.


The paper work is already in the works, and I felt confident I was making the right decision. I heard no inner voice saying don't do it, until today. I'm not sure whats deterred me. I honestly don't feel great staying. I'm ready to move onto new adventures. I think what's really causing me to be torn are a few things. The people, the people, the people. Yeah that's pretty much it. I also think it's the idea of getting out of my comfort zone and I'm sorta looked up to and respected where I am now. The other thing is the guilt.


I'm the type of person who will be faithful and loyal to a relationship/friendship/workship til the bitter end. I'm just that way. My current boss is a great guy and has really instilled a lot of leadership type qualities in me, which I appreciate. The guilt of this is; if I leave, bossman will be out another leadership role in the department. This at a time when leadership will be needed most during a time of change.


The guilt I think is really what's killing me most. It's getting to a point where I'm sick to my stomach. Hubs is beyond supportive about this like a hubs should be. Less pay, less stress, new adventure make working momma happy or would respect new changes, less guilt make working momma happy?

All of this really doesn't help that I'm a Libra and have a analytical personality.

The Grass Is Always Greener

Every day I have to force myself out of bed and begin yet another mundane day of sameness. Begin my taxi route and then make my presence known for yet another 8 hours of nose to the grindstone. Most days I'm ok with it, other days not so much.

I of course get the grass is greener envy of those mom's who are blessed to stay home with their children and are able or try to establish a home for their family and volunteer at the school and do those other things that SAHM's do. I admit I get a little envious. Then I'm home with my children for more than a 48 hour stretch and I don't quite get those feelings anymore to be SAHM.

I've been at my "grindstone" for 5 years now and I honestly should have no room to complain whatsoever. For the type of job I do, I'm freely allowed to do my own thing with out much restriction as long as I do the thing I'm paid to do in between. In other words I can pretty much surf the web all day and blog to hearts content. Sounds awesome right? It's great really. Yet I've become complacent on a lot of things.

I'm a highly valued employee to my department as I can bring in the numbers according to reports. Yet I really don't care, it's not about the numbers to me. I have no motivation, I'm just there because I have to be. We couldn't live with out my measly salary. Some days I don't see how it makes a difference, yet hubs shows me the numbers weekly. He knows I'm just there to be there. He's told me go for finding something else. Sadly there is nothing else here that I could or would want to do with out finishing my degree and or not doing the same thing I'm doing now plus enjoy it. I keep reassuring myself I'm doing this for the greater good. Things will change I just have to be patient. I also know going elsewhere my little "cush" would be gone.

I also feel I've been to complacent with the kids. When I get home after dealing with the crazies of work, I just want to be left alone. I want to get dinner on the table and then just want to vedge. What end's up happening is I push the kids away to do something else to leave mom alone. The guilt comes on cause I tell myself you were allowed to vedge in a way at work. SAHM's don't get to vedge and you'd probably drive yourself even more crazy.

I hate hearing that Bossyboy has been on red yet again for the second day in a row and what can we do to resolve this? I want to say I don't know, you're the teacher, you should deal with it. Your with him more than I am.

I hate that the boys really can't do a lot of after school activities as it involves being in some out of the way place at a time that's not really suitable for a working mother, to get somewhere at a time when normal people are still working, not to mention the fact that I have two other children to retrieve and plus feed. Not to mention the exhaustion I would face of just running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

I have these debates in my mind on a daily basis about the things I would do being home or telling myself to wait things out. I know it's a total fantasy and I understand the isolation and monotony of being home. I've been on that side of the fence too. Hubs believes he saved my sanity by putting me to work. Maybe he did in a way. I have learned a lot and experienced some awesome people and moments the last few years, that I wouldn't get at home,not to mention it looks pretty good on my resume. I think I'm just ready for a change of some kind, yet ripping the covers off that which is my comfort zone, leaves me cold and scared.

Sometimes my children really are pretty smart.

Conversation on the way home.
Wonderboy asked me "what I did at work today" I simply said the same old stuff I do everyday.
Gameboy: "Mom do you like your job?"
Me: "Uhm well it's a job and the bills have to be paid and food on the table, so I like it enough to take care of you guys."
Gameboy: "Well why do you do that job then?"
Me: "Because Daddy made me."
Gameboy: "Mom your the boss of you and no one should make you do anything."

Maybe I'm doing something right on this whole parenting thing. I followed this conversation by instilling in him to do a job that you love and are passionate about. Do whatever it takes to obtain that passion and don't do anything you don't want to, just because you feel you have to work related of course.
The hubs didn't force me to take this specific job. It just happened to be a job opening where he works, and something that didn't require any kind of background schooling or specialty to have. Luckily I've been around this job 5 years, that now I have some tenure on my belt compared to most of the office. I really work with a pretty good group and honestly should thank my lucky stars to work where I work.

Analytical Yet Amiable

Did you guys miss me yesterday? Yeah I actually had to work for a change. The thing is it wasn't even "work" it was a "leadership seminar". I would really rather be whipped with a wet noodle for 8 hours. You know how in these type of seminars you usually start out with a personality test so that everyone can get to know your personality type. This is supposedly to help you learn how to deal with different types of personalities. Can you tell this is going to be a fascinating post?

I did my little personality test to the best of my knowledge which pretty much means I BS'ed my way through it. The scoring on this thing was more complex than a algebra problem.
The questions included things like "When I am working with another person on a project, I want that person to:
1. Express his/her ideas directly and discuss all possibilities
2. Be pleasant and sensitive to the importance of establishing a good working relationship with me.
3. Be systematic in his/her thinking and outline the logical steps of the task.
4. Have a results-oriented approach that emphasizes a practical approach.

You had to rank what you felt most important but not by any kind of common sense numbering way. Really and truly I don't do any of these things we just do it. I don't think about all the BS that goes into it. But that doesn't make a good leader now does it?
My top two traits were Analytical and Amiable, which surprisingly none of the personality types really fit me. So after all that I give you a round about way of how I felt about the whole seminar from my "personality's" point of view.
Analytical:
After analyzing all that went on during the whole 8 eight hours of the seminar I came to the conclusion that technology really does suck.
1. We attended this seminar via teleconference. Meaning that Mr. Talking Pants was in Wisconsin and we were literally viewing his pants on a large projection screen along with 2 other offices attending through teleconference. That's right for the first three hours of the session, all we could see was the bottom half of his body while he instructed us on the main fundamentals of leadership.

2. Trying to watch a video via teleconference is a bit challenging. They actually zoomed the video conference camera to the T.V. to allow us to "watch" a high quality program from the early 90s trying to integrate Roman Mythology and My Fair Lady into some kind of crazy method of character building. The whole thing was like a bad driver's ed video. I'm still fairly lost on this one as our video froze up in the middle and all we could see was a screen of a framed college certificate, yet the sound was still going. Needless to say I amused myself by singing My Fair Lady Songs.

Amiable
Normally I think of myself as a fairly friendly person or I at least force myself to be. Yet another personality test told me that it's difficult for me to make new friends but the ones I have I remain loyal to and usually endure long lasting friendships. Which is pretty true. I am not a social butterfly and want to be friends with everyone that especially means at work. I will be sociable to you and maybe if I like you a little bit might go out to drinks with you to vent about work or even attend a social gathering or two for the office. This doesn't mean I will probably be BFF with you. I mean it's worth a shot, but probably not going to happen.
I also do not get into the whole sharing with all of the rest of the office my ideas and opinions on leadership and share with you how I want to improve or whatever. I just don't like to share. I also don't really care to know everyone elses feelings about the whole thing. Especially with people I will probably never see again, despite the fact we work for the same company. I really don't care to hear each and every persons personality type, nor their top second for that matter. Just teach me what I may or may not want to know and just leave me alone.
During lunch I want to actually EAT my deli club sandwich provided to me freely by the company, and NOT share with the rest of the group how I feel the session is going and compare it to the last seminar we had last month. If I wanted to gather around a campfire holding hands and singing Kumbuyya, I would just attend my kids Cub Scout meeting.
Guess what guys? I get to do this again for the next two months!