Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Tooth Fairy Should Be Fired!

Wonder Boy is going through that phase in age when he is popping a tooth at least once a month. I'm beyond thrilled that he can pull them out himself. I'll do anything-clean up poo, clean up throw up, dig in the trash to look for lost items, I'll even plunge a toilet or two, but for whatever reason, I can't bring myself to try to pull a tooth. I shiver to the bone just thinking about it.
The problem here is the tooth fairy is a lazy forgetful slacker and should be fired.
This past week Wonder Boy again lost a tooth and was ecstatic to get his visit from the tooth fairy; despite the fact that the last tooth that he pulled, the tooth fairy was a no show. Luckily I think he forgot just as quickly as the tooth fairy did.

I The tooth fairy was determined this time that she was going to be all over this one and would not forget. I She even gave herself a little pep talk and reminder before going to bed to not forget. Just like every other time, oops she did it again and she forgot.

The instant WB woke up he asked if the tooth fairy came. Since I've learned to be really quick on my feet when it comes to covering for the tooth fairy's incompetence, I directed his attention to jump in the shower and do it immediately!
I'm not ashamed to admit that I did a quick switch a roo of money and tooth, right in the blazing obvious presence of his baby brother. Neither were none the wiser. When he got out of the shower, I had to tell him, "Silly kid, you must have not of seen it!"
I was very tempted to out the tooth fairy that morning and to tell the kids the jig is up and the tooth fairy is just a figment of our imagination and no stinkin fairy wants a nasty old tooth and definitely doesn't want one in exchange for cash. The real world just does not work that way. I refrained. I can't steal away the childhood of the 4 year old who has yet to go through the neglectfulness and deceit of the tooth fairy. Maybe the replacement fairy will do a much better job.


Laurie said...


You, uhhh, I mean the Tooth Fairy, shouldn't beat herself up over it. Besides, it made a really interesting story for me to read!

The Mom said...

I always forget to do the tooth fairy. But she comes while they are eating breakfast, or going to the bathroom, etc. I just tell them she is very busy, and our house must be last on her list, so she gets to us late! LOL It works like a charm.

shayla said...

Believe me, I have been there. Oh the things we will do under pressure!


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