Sunday, August 26, 2007

Count Down to Operation Taxi Mom..

Approximately 16-17 hours from now operation Taxi Mom will be in full force. This means no more sleeping in an extra 30-40 minutes and no more one stop drop off/pick up for the boys.

Taxi Mom 2007 will begin bright and early at 7:15, chauffeuring 3 kids to 3 different schools. I usually take the same shortest route every morning to avoid the crazy car pool lane traffic that always ensues the first day of school. It really is total madness. The nice Beaver Cleaver PTA moms suddenly become psycho Godzilla Mom's when dropping their kids off for school. I bring you the top 5 first day of school drop off rules to follow to get your precious Hanah or Jaxxon to school on time.

1. Most Godzilla Mom's try to jockey their way to the front of the 100 car line to get little Hunter or Kaitlynn off to school 30 minutes before school starts. Don't even think your going to get little Aiden to school in time by arriving 10 minutes before school starts, cause all the other Aiden's mommas are thinking the same thing, it just ain't gonna happen.

2. Don't even think about leaving your car unattended in the drop off lane to take little Lily to class. Your car will either be pelted with sippy cups and McDonald's toys or worse you will be chastised at the next PTA meeting. Oh so you'll just park along the street? Good luck with that, as there will be no where to park but maybe 10 blocks away. Park in the parking lot you say? Ha, no there is no parking lot.

3. Please also remember once you have approached your final drop off point, for the love of Jahova pay attention to the finely trained traffic monitors when they motion you to pull completely to the front of the line. Little Cooper's class is at this particular entrance and you want to drop him off right here? I don't think so sister. You have a good twenty cars behind you that would also like to drop off their little Mercedez to. When you don't pull all the way forward you leave a good ten car lengths in front of you that other people could be dropping off their little darlings. No there is not a lane to go around you. Pull Up!

4. Drive the freakin school zone speed limit! Very young children are crossing the street and just cause your a** is in a freakin hurry doesn't mean your some kind of special Hollywood diva that can get away with it. Sometimes there's not a crossing guard at certain areas where children are crossing. That's all I'm sayin.

5. Last but certainly not least, GET OFF YOUR DA*N CELL PHONE! Pay attention to your surroundings. There's a hundred times more important things, than calling your girlfriend to tell her you found a coupon for $1.00 off on Pampers. Your friend doesn't care and is probably ticked off at you anyway for calling her at 7 in the morning.

After 4 years of experience in dropping kids off at not one but different 3 schools every day, I feel I have this down to a science. Dealing with this every morning and trying to actually make it to work on time is enough for me to drink heavily on weekends. Then I have to turn around and do it all over again after work to.


Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

I always had car/traffic duty when I worked...I wish I could have sent this home with all the car riders!

Lawanda said...

School traffic is always a pain, especially the first day (or even the first week or two!)

Good rules ;) I really get peeved when number 3 and 4 are not properly obeyed!


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