Saturday, July 7, 2007

For the Love of Wisdom

**This post was originally posted on another "space that's mine" sometime last year.**
Wisdom was a gorgeous brown eyed girl with the most beautiful red hair that you ever saw. C loved her more than anything in the world and she loved him just as much if not more. She would do anything in the world for C and he would do just about anything for her. Their relationship was one of loyalty and dedication to each other. Theirs was a lasting never ending love like no other.

I first met Wisdom after seeing C for about a month. She came into the room with an attitude about her that this was her place, with a look of question. Who are you, and what are you doing here? I knew then there was going to be competition between us, between the man we adored. I took it in stride I knew she knew him longer, but still I wanted him to be mine and I wasn't up for sharing.

Time went on and we began to tolerate each other. She could have him when I left his place. She was his for the night, but he was mine during the day. Soon C had to make a choice her or me. He chose us both. He wanted to share our love for him together. I knew it would be hard but I was willing to do this as long as there were some ground rules, she could not sleep in the bed with us. This was not understandable to her. This was her bed and if I wanted to sleep in it that was fine but she would have to sleep there to. We had our many battles and finally I won and gained the dominance of the household.

She began to grow on me and I began to love her almost as much as C loved me. I think she began to love me to. We shared many joys together raising her kids up and loving them to be out on their on. Then we brought home our own little bundle and she took to him as if he were her own. We had many travels together the 4 of us, she enjoyed the many miles back and forth from Texas to Oklahoma. Just her me and our little young love on the open road. We kept each other company on those long hours. Sometimes she'd rest her head in my lap to just enjoy the ride.

After many years of bliss things started to change. She wasn't her young vivacious self anymore. Not as playful as she once was. She would try so hard to play the little games C liked to play, but something was just not quite right. There were other signs other than the tiredness, she seemed to almost misbehave in normal things she knew she would get in trouble for. Then there was some health signs that gave us clues as well. After several visits to the doctor it was discovered that our gorgeous red head had cancer. This devastated C as cancer was a vicious monster that had already robbed him of his greatest love and friend, his father. C would do anything in the world it would take to make her better. Money was no object. We tried all kinds of experimental treatments and had a special catheter placed to help her. We both dedicated everything to her to show her that we were not going to give up on her and that we were going to make her better.

I think she knew that our plans weren't quite her plans. She tried effortlessly to have a positive attitude even after the many many visits to the doctor and over night stays at the hospital. She did her best to help us keep a smile on our face and to help keep her memory alive. She knew her time was near even if we tried to pretend she had eternity. C was gone a lot those last few weeks, he hated so much not being there but knew she was in good care by us. Finally upon his return home the doctors told us the unbearable news that the tumor was getting bigger and not shrinking at all and that her time was near. No one ever thinks that a decision such as ours should ever have to happen. Would you put down a loved one to ease their pain? Would this be something they would want? She couldn't tell us out right that this is what she wanted. We would never want the one we love to suffer so much pain. In the end C decided it was time. As painful as that decision was I'm sure it was the right one. I left this moment for him and her as they were lovers first and had a love like no other. She left us peacefully but undoubtedly very scared. We know she's looking down on us watching all her kids, ours and hers. She would have many a tale to tell about us and our secrets that no one else would ever know.

We miss that red haired girl, those brown puppy dog eyes. That wet sloppy purple tongue that always stole our kisses. We miss how she would sit on the couch next to C and give me a look as if she'd done nothing wrong. C misses wrestling around with her on the floor and playing the games they used to play. She's always got a special place in our hearts that no other person or pet could ever replace and she's probably thinking what in the world got in to those people's minds to get 2 cats!

This is why to keep her little memory alive for me, my "handle" for anything that requires a user name is Wisdom in her memory. Thanks Wisdom for showing me a new and different kind of love I never had before. Though its been almost 3 years since you've departed it seems like only yesterday you were giving me those purple tongued kisses and playing in the water hose and bouncing up and around with the kids in their first snowfall. Thanks for all those sweet sweet memories. Thanks ol girl Thanks.

1 comment:

Damselfly said...

Aw. What a loving tribute. It's so hard to lose a member of the family.


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