Bossyboy who is my obstinate child, is well.. obstinate. He refuses to be told "No" for anything and sometimes a punishment for bad behavior is implemented.
When the punishment for bad behavior has been enforced for this stubborn little boy of mine, I request that he apologize to both me and any other party involved. I've never had problems with timeouts and apologies with the other two. They took their punishments to heart and would apologize with true meaning. Not so much with the Boss. He will take any time outs or spats on the bottom with full stoicism (sometimes as long as he's not having a major tantrum) and acceptance, apologies however are the hardest words for him to say.
When I ask him to apologize to me it comes with great prodding and persuasion. When it is finally said, it's spoken forcefully and just in a means to get it over and done with. I'm not sure what it is that makes it so difficult for him to say it; it's as if he believes he's done nothing wrong and feels that an apology isn't needed.
Yesterday was one of those hectic taxi runs. It never fails on the second or last leg of the run the Boss gets grumpy. I'm sure it's all a result of hunger and pent up frustration, and of course it's all taken out on me. I honestly can't even remember what the fuss was about but he was upset and his favorite phrase to say when he's mad at me is, "Mom, I'm not your mommy anymore." Yes it's a bit comical the first time around. I believe he's trying to say "I'm not you son anymore." He disowns his brothers and I a lot when he's mad. I've gotten to a point where I just ignore him and let him have his grump session as we continue to taxi along.
After a few blocks down the road of me being "disowned", I heard his little voice yell from the back, "Mommy?" "Yes my son?" thinking surely he was going to tell me yet again that I had been disowned. "I'm sorry" He said it with such conviction and remorse that I thought I was going to tear up. I didn't know what to say, I was so taken aback. I finally told him I was proud of him and loved him. It was certainly the best well meant apology I'd ever received from anyone.
2 comments:
Why is it that that is one of the hardest things for me to say as well. Especially to my family. It's so easy for my husband and he always wants me to apologize for everything and when I don't (because I don't feel like it's my fault and because I'm stubborn) then it creates major issues. Ugh.
What a great post! Don't you love it when they surprise you with something so meaningful!
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