Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Queen Of The Road

I don't do "big vehicles" unless of course forced to. Anything larger than the mom taxi van is to big. The last couple of days I've been forced to drive hub's big ugly Burb. I tried to make every possible excuse not to drive it and was flat out turned down.
Here was the basic conversation.
"You'll have to drive the Burb since mom taxi is running to hot."
After gnashing of teeth and groaning I responded. "Does it have enough gas?" "Yes"
"Will it actually start?" "Yes" "The tag and inspection all good?" "Yes" ....Sigh

My aversion to large vehicles goes back to my learning to drive days. My dad has a 1 and a half ton dually pickup, 4 door, biggest hunk a ugly vehicle eye sore you ever saw, oh and red and white striped to boot. The perfect kind of vehicle to embarrass your teenage daughter when picking her up from school. You could always see and hear it coming a mile and a half from the road. If I could I would have gotten a running start and met dad half way down the road. Instead I had to suffer the humiliation of being picked up in front of everyone.
After I turned 15 and was in the process of learning to drive. My father came and picked me up in the beast. He offered to let me drive home. I must have been feeling spunky that day and decided why the heck not? When I stepped up a good 2 giant steps up and slammed the door shut (if you didn't literally slam the door it wouldn't completely shut) I felt I was queen of the road, perched up on my high big beast thrown.
I proudly drove the beast home. Did you know that big ugly trucks don't take sharp turns at 45 mph very well? Dad said we were literally on two wheels.
Driving the beast wasn't to bad once you were inside and could imagine your driving something else like a bull dozier or something. This however did not squelch my aversion to big ugly vehicles.

I could tell you a number of stories involving the Burb, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking and none the worse for wear. Let's just say parking garages and big ugly Burbs don't jive.

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